Maternal grandfather who only speaks to me once a year, on my birthday.

For context, he sent me some birthday money a couple of days late (I don't care about that at all, I only mention this as it's why I wasn't just checking my Venmo randomly) and he decided this was an appropriate response to me not immediately thanking him. Apparently he has no concept of turning notifications off for all apps besides texts and phone calls.

My dad made a Facebook dating profile saying he had no kids, wtf

No mom it doesn’t

She's blowing you a kiss 😘

The real roman empire heir

Rare German W

Peak German slander 💀

The people have spoken, I changed my flair

Spain #1! 💪 🇪🇸

PIGS absolutely crushing the unemployment charts 💪

What to say to someone who leaves the door open after coming in? (includes informal expressions)