One blue rock richer

My marriage went down the drain because of a damn parrot. I got home one day, and that feathered bastard started screeching like a maniac:

"MORE..! MORE..! DEEPER..! DEEPER..! DON’T YOU DARE STOP!!!"

When my husband rolled in from work, I unleashed hell on him. We screamed, cursed each other to high heaven, and he stormed out. Divorce papers followed. A month later, we started talking again, piecing things together. He demanded to know why I lost it, so I spilled the beans about the parrot. He went silent. Didn’t say a word. Then, the next day, a courier showed up with a USB drive. Just one short video on it. I watched it and sobbed my eyes out for two straight hours. That USB held the truth...

#marriagefail #parrotdrama #heartbreak #wtf

Man, the boys dragged me to the club, and I caved in, thinking, hell yeah, let’s do this! I’d been reading all kinds of wild stories about dudes smashing chicks after a night out, so I figured I’d snag some action too. But nah, the night took a twisted turn—ended up jerking off in the bathroom while watching some chick go down on my buddy. Then I just bounced, frustrated as hell.

#clubnight #wildtimes #nsfw #fail