Down in our little backwoods village, we’ve got a notorious character dubbed “All Mine,” and wouldn’t you know it, the bastard’s my next-door neighbor. When this lunatic gets hammered, he stumbles into someone’s garden—or hell, even their damn house—and starts bellowing, “All Mine!” like he owns the goddamn world.
Used to be, we’d call the cops on his sorry ass, but now? We’re over it. We just give him a swift kick in the rear and send him packing.
#villagecrazy #drunkass #smalltownproblems #wtf
So, this dude invited me out for some "romance," a damn date, basically... This was about a month back. I’m picturing flowers, wine, the whole cheesy vibe, right? Nope, turns out this bastard planned to drag me and my girl up to a freaking rooftop for a wild threesome. (Like, what the hell made him think I’d be down for that shit? I’m still clueless.)
Long story short, I dipped the fuck out, but my friend? Oh, she stayed.
And guess what? Now she’s knocked up.
#wtf #baddecisions #threesomefail #drama