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Blue, the Belgian Behemoth
The ring pull failed, then the can opener fell to pieces
Agnes, The Decimator of Beauty
Jeff, he who hath become one with dragons
Pringo, dweller of the tube, protector of crumbs.
Johari, the Fashionista
The Two Dudes, Who Foretold the Plague
Reddit, the API king
Lard Legs The Immovable
"Mysterious man wanted for infanticide of an innocent newborn"
If only there were a process that could have prevented this...like a red flag or something
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