Illegal moves only (Turn 2, Black)

What about it?

White has moved! All pawns have promoted to Kings, but all Bishops went on a well-deserved vacation. (Old post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AnarchyChess/comments/14k7qbk/illegal_moves_only_turn_2_white/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)

Can you spot it? White to move.

Long theory

the intrusive thought

Title

Holy hell

Made my first chess puzzle.

Trying to double the demented horses. What should I do in this position?

What's the best move, white to play.

Im Pastafarian btw

How do I win from this position?

What about it?

Measles has captured Jennifer! Do I recapture with my oxen?