I really don’t know if this counts

"I accidentally fingered a dead moles butt hole in front of several children to try and find a bug."

he is a proud father.

“Explosive diarrhoea made me look like a predator”

Your ears will get pregnant.

she mustve been very angry

A pizzeria owner from the Boston area has been convicted of using pandemic relief funds to buy an alpaca farm in Vermont and fund his radio programme.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-66678562.amp

“Mid-log”

From a local instagram account.

Basketball roundness must be some kind of illusion caused by perspective and mirages.

“hijacked the rainbow as if it was their own”

Talking about the child orgy scene in Stephen King's It (Book version)