Just found in my shorts pocket

The neighbor's cat is on my chair

Just making some toast

I want this cake for my birthday

here's a picture of the Krabby patty secret formula. my finger was over the lens but it's fine

today is not my birthday

My first 1000 of karma

a bird on my deck last week

Correct, my skeleton is considerably larger.

This is toilet paper

I found a dead wasp at work.