Almost two years ago I shared this picture of my 28th birthday with you, saying that I finally ‘beat’ my depression. The post got over a 60k upvote and I felt so blessed. I like to share an update.
So, that being said: I’m turning 30 end of the month! Hooray. I’m still here. Over the past two years I realised a depression is not something you beat or overcome. You can give it a place. Sometimes look at it. Sometimes laugh at it. Sometimes connect with it.
Nothing much changed for me over the past two years, and I always imagined myself being the ambitious, hard working, always laughing and - at that time it was a thing - home owning 30 year old. Well, I’m not. And I’m sad about that (, am I?). I don’t feel the ambition to make a career that’s determinative to who I am. Sorry… English is not my first language and I used a difficult word. I don’t know why I did that.
The only thing I changed is that I came to a realisation that the urge to be ambitious and my parent-pleasing-self is not going to work for me.
So… I’m almost 30 years old. Single. Not a home owner. Not ambitious in my work field. Not very sporty. Also not very not sporty. Love to cook. Love my friends. I have a cat. She’s called Indie. And maybe this is just it. Nothing outstanding. Not much. But it just is at it is.
Oh, and I love grass. I don’t know why exactly. I just love grass.
Two years ago you’ve all supported me in my progress and that was amazing. Thank you! Cheers to my big 30 and to the 60 years that’s coming.