MIL called my wife while she was cooking breakfast this morning, so she answered the call on speakerphone. First thing my MIL asked was whether I liked my new power washer for Father’s Day. My kids haven’t surprised me with it yet and I was in the kitchen when she called.

What about it?

Two of my children are working today, so they weren’t planning to do anything for Father’s Day until later this afternoon when everyone is back home. My other son was sitting at the kitchen table with me when my MIL ruined the surprise. She was apologetic, and I laughed it off, but now my wife and son are angry, and my other two kids aren’t aware that their surprise was ruined by Grammy. I told my wife and son that I’ll open their card once my other kids get home from work this afternoon.

Got Dr. Scholl’s for Father’s Day, but someone had already stolen the tongues out.

You can’t see what’s inside of these drink coolers

It's been an hour and IHOP still hasn't served us our food

Puzzle called “Perfect Fit” yeah right

What about it?

I literally aligned the orange piece with all other pieces and none of the aligned

One of the chicken tenders I got from KFC’s Tender box meal.

My favorite tequila glass v the disposal

What about it?

The disposal won. At least it wasn’t glass I had to dig out by hand.

The one tile missing here

Batman with the gangster Vegas hud

2 Shrinking Kleenex vs normal tissue boxes in the span of a year. Shrinkflation is in

One of my colleagues parks like this pretty much every day.