Killing the king with the king

Little puzzle for you guys

What do I do in this position? (I am white)

Opponent is trash talking my haircut, what do (i am main character)

Anarchy Chess discord makes a groundbreaking discovery on Magnus

What do I do in this position? (I'm commenting)

What do I do in this position? (I’m commenting)

What do I do in this position? (I'm googling en passant)

What do I do in this position? (I'm having a sexual intercourse with your mother)

This guy has beaten me 15/15 times with weird moves before explaining me how to play. Please help.

Magnus Carlsen and Maurice Ashley