What do I do in this position? (I'm black)

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What do i do in this position ? (Im the photographer)

What do I do in this position? (I am trying to kill my father.)

What do I do in this position? (I accepted the false reality)

What are the odds the cleaning lady set up the board like this because she is into some crazy chess variants?

What should I do, if white boi refused my flour-based food baked in an oven? (I own french bakery)

What do I do in this position? (I'm straight btw)

What do I do in this position? (I'm white)

What openings do you guys think she has???

What do I do in this position? (My opponent drew black.)