Someone drove a U-Haul into my bedroom.

What about it?

Came home to this. Apparently had happened 3 hours prior but no one had bothered to contact me. Driver “lost control,” drove through a gate of a storage facility across the street and into my apartment. Thankfully wasn’t home- hole is right where my bed was.

Cut my thumb using electric pruning shears

Nickleback didn't make the music category

If this is true I’m never going to be able to retire.

What about it?

Even 2.5 million dollars isn’t enough? I’m screwed.

The only drawer in my kitchen.

I just wanted a can of coke with my lunch today.☹️

Well, shit...

I forgot to place my travel mug the coffee machine.

What about it?

For a few seconds I thought I had a poltergeist, then I saw the travel mug was dry.

My neighbor's lawn mower picked up a rock and threw it at my kitchen window (The bad quality is because i had to turn off lighting settings, it's bright out)

The heat is melting the glue in my car

What about it?

It’s doing the same in the back of the car as well.

Last night I *tried* to chop some green onions after I had consumed 2 or 3 or 11 whiskeys.