Well, I guess it's time to make a new account.

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Its a make-or-break for whether I'll order a dish

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Gets first big modelling job... is bummed out

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Going to the bank is so inconvenient!

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Maybe start the conversation with a better topic, like how happy and still alive my dog is.

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When your douchebag friend takes mushrooms for the first time and has "profound epiphanies" that are really just basic human empathy and compassion.

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I drove through several states and noticed the majority of drivers were not using their turn signals.

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I don't like deepfried memes or most the new formats.

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Everything smells

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Reworded it for the lovely dwellers of Reddit

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Dude, fail... just fail... I don't know where to start Brian...

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