"hey! I pirated this penis fair and square!"

Lmao

“Slapped me so hard my soul flew to Asia and back!”

Cool dog isn’t a narc

brand new reason for a police raid

This is the Chipotle where Thomas Paine wrote common sense

Society was a mistake

Unforgivable

My sister describing how a difficult birth went.

I'm speechless.

They are long, rectal Chewbacca howls