I presume these are both a bit of banter, but given the guy in the picture...

"Career 53% free-throw shooter opens Big Chicken shack in Mukilteo"

What about it?

https://www.heraldnet.com/news/career-53-free-throw-shooter-opens-big-chicken-shack-in-mukilteo/

My husband loves Penn Ave Whole Foods parking garage smell.

i mean he probably ain’t wrong

He’s like if Jekyll was microdosing the potion that turns him into Hyde

"Babies are absolutely biodegradable"

“Where toddlers are shooting people”

I’m suddenly hungry

What about it?

Source to this masterpiece: https://reddit.com/r/SipsTea/s/kauAL2pmBD

I would not like to partake, my good sir, may I sample some of the older product.

you eat me and i perfectly dodge all of your digestive enzymes and stomach acid and i sprint out your asshole fully intact

A rich 11 or 12 year old kid who likes to masturbate so much that his dick gets smaller and smaller until it's no more.