Literally tongue in cheek

If you’re taking credit for the good stuff, you need to take responsibility for the bad

Going up the stairs can also give you a temporary lift

Indeed, Polar bears are very dangerous!

my brother has heroin on his shelf

It’s half a pack

That's one way to put it.

Saw this in r/madlads and i think it fits here

My mind is just blown

Just keep on moving, you'll get there

what they actualy fear