This isn't Easter Island.

Literally tongue in cheek

If you’re taking credit for the good stuff, you need to take responsibility for the bad

Going up the stairs can also give you a temporary lift

Indeed, Polar bears are very dangerous!

my brother has heroin on his shelf

It’s half a pack

That's one way to put it.

Saw this in r/madlads and i think it fits here

My mind is just blown

Just keep on moving, you'll get there