This gap in the bathroom stall at a park near my house.

I do have smaller hands, but c’mon.

Chubby husband trap strikes again

My wife just pulled a bag of vegetables or some bullshit out of the freezer and then pulled this pint of ice cream out and gave me a very sheepish grin. That’s right, she hid it from me, as though I can’t be trusted. When I asked how long she’s had it hidden, guess what she said?!…..TWO MONTHS!!! As though its normal to have enough self control to make 14 ounces of ice cream last 8 weeks!

I spilt monster energy on my desk and it literally destroyed it!

How is this even possible?! It melted it and now the paint is coming off and it made a bunch of lumps. How??? Is it made of acid??

My mr. Happy shorts has a typo on it

At least I never need a night light

The high school across the street from me has been under renovation for three years, and the lights were put up a week after I moved in. They can only work between 3pm-11pm during the school year, and there’s almost never anyone working so who knows how long they’ll be up.

When you wanted to print in color for your students and this happens.

I can’t print in color at work and this worksheet works better in color. I just wasted 20 pages of black ink. This printer was the worst investment ever. Ugh!

How Sad Is This!?!?

The multimillion dollar corporation known as Touchmark asks their elderly residents, who pay $12,000 or more a month to live there, to pay for their employees bonuses every year.

My mom’s unread emails

My mom is temporarily using my phone until hers is unlocked and she’s signed into Gmail with all three of her accounts and the amount of unread emails she has…

Please. It's August.

My neighbor got a new set of porch lights. He runs them all night.

I accidentally left an ice bag near my notepad