In french, we say « chagrin ».
I was desperately trying to find the appropriate word to describe what I was experiencing. Sometimes, it comes like smoke from my belly, emerging from my throat. I feel a painful puff touching my glottis and rising to my nose, inside my nose.
My nose is stinging, like when you sniff a spicy aliment and I feel like a lost child in a big forest as the tears are piling up behind my eyes. But none manage to come out.
I think in French, my native language, we say « chagrin » and that the equivalent is « sorrow » (it sounds romantic) : I am not sad, I feel sorrow in my whole body, like a parasite vibrating and crawling inside, tickling my nose when it’s bored.