Almost drank a toothpick

A few beers in and as I was about to finish my third I had this toothpick hit the back of my mouth before I thankfully felt it and stopped drinking.

Literally noped out of there

A kid at my school said that he "cursed me" and showed me this notebook page

That thing is human...

Bro decimated her

The (now covered with a Native American) tattoo was a swastika

Thats a new one for me

I would also honestly

Doctor with the comeback!

Didn't expect to witness a live manslaughter today.

Behold, the REAL AQUAMAN!