Bathroom Takeover

My cat is 9, almost 10. Has essentially never used litter boxes her entire life. She uses puppy pads that we spread around our second bathroom. The Wife and I call it the “cat bathroom” because we’ve given up on ever being able to use it ourselves. We’ve tried probably dozens of different litters and boxes to no avail. It obviously doesn’t smell the best since there’s no litter to mask the dooky smell. So we go through a lot of plugins and such. Has anyone had a similar experience and figured out a way to get their fuzz ball to start using a litter box later in life even just a little bit?

SLEEP HELP

This my one year old Knox, he has recently become a terror at night. I have very small night stands, like a lamp, a water at night and my phone and there are pictures hung ab over them. As well as a basket wall with some greenery over the bed. When i am sleeping at night he had recently started knocking the lamps off the nightstands to get to the hanging pictures and then trying to take them off the wall. It doesn’t bother me that he attacks the basket wall when i’m not laying in the bed at night but he is waking me up and will eventually break things. he has plenty of toys and i always spend 30-45 minutes playing with him before i go to bed. And when i mean playing i have him running around and panting. i don’t want to not have night stands and lamps or take down my decor so i’m really hoping for some help. The past two nights he hasn’t let me sleep at all and the way the apartment is set up i wouldn’t be able to lock him out of the room without keeping him from his litter box or only putting him in a small bathroom which i really don’t want to do.

How do I get this psychopath to stop licking the wall corners?

We moved recently, and in the new house, this nutcase has been licking the corners of the walls. She's kind of a licky cat in general, and often licks our hands and feet. I'm not sure what's different in the new house, but she does it on almost every corner and it's starting to discolor the paint. I tried spraying the Noobecr stuff we used to keep her out of places when she was a kitten, but it had no effect. Any ideas? Thank you!

My fetus

Ivan the Terrible holds his son in his arms, realizing he has killed him (November 16, 1581)

Horton Hears a Who! Written by Dr. Seuss. Published in 1954

The first humans discover the White Cliffs of Dover (900,000 BC)

JFK playing on a PS4 circa. 2016

A Catholic bishop granting plenary indulgences for the public during times of calamity. (Wall Fresco, 1527)

The child of Catherine the great (Undated picture from after 1796)

Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office - circa 1996