I stepped out to smoke at the dacha in the dead of night.
The fog hung thick, silence wrapped me like a damn blanket, pure bliss.
Then, out of nowhere, I hear this creepy-ass breathing right behind me.
I whip around—there’s this lunatic standing there, wearing nothing but swim trunks and a freaking hard hat, gripping a crowbar like it’s his lifeline.
I’m frozen, brain.exe has stopped working. He mutters, “Over there… mushrooms.”
I don’t say shit, just nod like I get it, and bolt back to the house, heart pounding.
Half an hour later, curiosity gets me. I sneak out to check—son of a bitch, he’s actually in the garden, digging like a possessed mole.
I call the cops, turns out this dude’s an escapee from the loony bin.
They roll up, and this psycho starts sprinting around the yard, dodging them like a feral animal.
He even tackles one cop to the ground, screaming, “The fucking mushrooms are alive! Goddamn porcini bastards!”
#creepy #psycho #wtf #mushroommadness
