Last night, I was deep in the heat with my girl, and I blasted all over her sweet ass. I got up to grab some tissues, and she snaps, “Close the damn door!” I just shrugged—who the hell cares, right?—and kept walking.
Not even five seconds later, my mom strolls by the room… and gets a full fucking view of my girl, butt-naked, sprawled out like a starfish, dripping with my mess.

#nsfw #awkwardmoment #caughtredhanded #familydrama

P20. So, one day my uncle dropped this savage piece of wisdom on me: "Never shack up with a woman who’s tougher than you, kid—she might crave some action when you’re just not in the damn mood." I laughed it off, thinking it was just some hilarious bullshit. But guess what? I ended up dating a freaking judo champ, and holy shit, she’s pinned me down and had her way with me a couple of times already… somebody send help, I’m screwed!

#wtf #relationshipstruggles #judo #savage

Heading out on some errands today, hopping into a half-empty minibus, where everyone’s just chilling in their own little worlds.
Next to me, there’s this lady rocking a vibe like she’s the damn queen of the universe, deciding who lives or dies.
Then, out of nowhere, she starts looking queasy—maybe motion sickness, maybe she’s drunk off her ass, who the hell knows.
Without so much as a flinch, she flips open her fancy bag, pukes right into it with surgical precision, zips it shut…
And just like that, she’s back to sitting there with her snooty-ass expression, as if she didn’t just turn her purse into a vomit vault.

#wtf #gross #publictransport #savage