Down in our little backwoods village, we’ve got a notorious character dubbed “All Mine,” and wouldn’t you know it, the bastard’s my next-door neighbor. When this lunatic gets hammered, he stumbles into someone’s garden—or hell, even their damn house—and starts bellowing, “All Mine!” like he owns the goddamn world.

Used to be, we’d call the cops on his sorry ass, but now? We’re over it. We just give him a swift kick in the rear and send him packing.

#villagecrazy #drunkass #smalltownproblems #wtf

So, this dude invited me out for some "romance," a damn date, basically... This was about a month back. I’m picturing flowers, wine, the whole cheesy vibe, right? Nope, turns out this bastard planned to drag me and my girl up to a freaking rooftop for a wild threesome. (Like, what the hell made him think I’d be down for that shit? I’m still clueless.)
Long story short, I dipped the fuck out, but my friend? Oh, she stayed.
And guess what? Now she’s knocked up.

#wtf #baddecisions #threesomefail #drama

A rugged dude is going hard on a wild chick, and she’s absolutely losing her damn mind in ecstasy, floating somewhere beyond cloud nine. They finish, breathless and sweaty.
- "Holy shit, I’ve never felt this insanely good! Gimme more, now!" she gasps.
- "Hell yeah, I’m game, but I’ve got one freaky condition," he smirks.
- "What’s that?" she asks, still catching her breath.
- "I’m gonna crash for 15 minutes, and you’ve gotta grip my junk with both hands. Don’t you dare let go!"
- "Uh... that’s weird as fuck, but fine, whatever," she shrugs.
Fifteen minutes pass, and they dive back into the action. She’s screaming her lungs out, writhing in orgasmic chaos. They finish again.
- "MORE! I FUCKING NEED MORE!" she demands, almost feral.
- "Alright, babe, but same condition. Hold on tight and don’t let go," he chuckles.
- "Yeah, yeah, got it," she mutters.
Another 15 minutes later, they’re at it again. Her eyes are practically popping out of her skull, shrieking like she’s possessed.
- "Phew, you won’t believe this, but I’m still craving more!" she pants.
- "Same deal, you know the drill," he says with a sly grin.
- "Okay, but seriously, what’s with this bizarre condition? What’s the damn point? Spill it…" she presses.
Wanna know what happens next?

#wildnight #freakyconditions #unstoppablepassion #nsfw