Hey there, dear folks of infamy, do you have any clue what a twisted sexual act really means? According to the wild and raw notes of the USSR Criminal Code from 1982, such an act is defined as one that daringly involves the entry or exit points of the human digestive tract.
Yeah, wrap your head around that, my esteemed comrades!
#taboo #shocking #history #rawtruth
My old man’s pushing fifty, a widower for six damn years now. And guess what? For all this time, he’s been parading a string of chicks my age, one after another. I walk into the house, and these girls stare at me like I’m some freaking ghost: “Who the hell is this?” Well, surprise, sweetheart, I’m the son of the dude you’re banging.
I confronted him once, straight up: “Are you for real, Dad? Can’t you find a proper woman, someone closer to your age, someone you can actually vibe with?” And he just smirks and hits me with this gem: “I read somewhere that screwing younger women keeps you young. So, I’m just rejuvenating, my boy.”
And now I’m stuck dodging eye contact with these “fountains of youth” every time I’m around.
#midlifecrisis #daddydrama #awkwardaf #agegap
My sis (2 straight-up threw herself at a traffic cop right in the car during her driving test, just to snag a passing grade for the city route.
But damn, that corrupt pig took full advantage, banged her senseless, and guess what? She still didn’t get her damn license!
#corruption #scandal #fail #wildstories
D26. My bestie begged me to watch her little gremlin for "just a hot second." I shrugged and said sure, no big deal. Twenty minutes later, her phone’s off, she’s ghosting me in chats, and now it’s been 5 damn hours. I’m stuck with this shrieking demon-child, snot streaming from both nostrils, and a diaper full of pure chaos.
? — Suck it up, you made a promise.
? — Blast her ass in your stories, tag her as “Mom of the Century.”
#badparenting #babysittinghell #wtf #sendhelp