I was driving a cab when this hammered, hefty woman, probably in her 40s, plopped into the backseat with a suitcase in tow.
When we got to her place, she slurred out a request for me to haul her luggage up to her third-floor apartment.
I obliged, didn’t even bother kicking off my shoes.
Next thing I know, she’s using her massive rack to shove me straight into her bedroom, begging and pleading for me to give her the goods.
When that didn’t work, she flipped to full-on threats.
Before I could blink, she yanked my pants down and got a hold of my Limp Larry with her mouth, but the soldier just wouldn’t stand at attention.
So, tell me, does this count as getting violated?

? - Nah, not quite there
? - Hell yeah, it counts

#wildride #taxidriverstories #wtfmoment #awkward

I snatched the wallet from a drunk bastard passed out at the bus stop, reeking of cheap booze and regret. I tell myself, hell, he’d just blow it on more rotgut anyway—maybe some lethal hawthorn swill—and end up six feet under. So, am I a scumbag, or just a twisted kind of savior looking out for his sorry ass?

?—A damn hero in disguise
?—A total piece of trash

#thief #moraldilemma #streetlife #savage

Our granddad went and tied the knot with a damn vacuum cleaner!
The old man decked out his robotic bride in a frilly little dress and paraded her through town, dragging her by the cord like some bizarre trophy wife, until they finally locked his crazy ass up in the loony bin.

#wtf #crazygrandpa #vacuumlove #mentalbreakdown