Insane Bartender for a Mad Crowd

I’m slinging drinks at this gritty little café, and if a customer rubs me the wrong way, I’ve got a special treat for ‘em (usually the chicks). I offer a complimentary “Bloody Mary” on the house, but instead of vodka, I slam in some fiery pepper tonic and pure ethanol, baby! 😈 For those fruity long drinks like “Sex on the Beach,” I just hawk a fat loogie in there with all my heart.
The twisted, horrified faces they make when they sip that poison? Man, it’s pure gold, impossible to describe.
Oh, and I mix that ethanol with water—boom, instant bootleg vodka on tap. 😎
Just a bastard at 18 years young!

#bartenderlife #savage #prankster #wtf

I stumbled upon this cute dude on DV, and damn, sparks flew!

The big day rolled around, we hung out, and hell yeah, we clicked instantly. A few days later, we decided to “watch a movie” at a hotel. Spoiler alert: we didn’t give a rat’s ass about the plot!
Neither of us had any rubbers on hand, so we made a quick pharmacy run. Back in action, we got wild—real wild—until, boom, the damn condom burst at the grand finale.
Lesson learned: Contex is absolute trash.
Don’t skimp on the good stuff, folks. Emergency pills cost a fortune compared to decent protection.
Wishing y’all hot love and unbreakable condoms! ❤️

#loveandlust #condomfail #wildtimes #stayprotected

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