Life can throw some wild curveballs, can’t it?

Day 23. I’m burning up with a fever, sprawled out on the bed like a corpse. My guy’s in the next room, tinkering with whatever the hell keeps him busy. I drift off into a feverish haze, and in my dream, I swear I can hear him behind that damn wall, screwing around with someone else. I jolt awake—feeling a bit better, thank fuck. I get up, but the house is cold as a witch’s tit, so I shuffle to the closet for a sweater. I yank the door open, and holy shit—there’s a stark-naked chick just standing there! I nearly lost my damn mind (turns out, it was just a hallucination)...

#feverdreams #wtf #hallucination #mindfuck

Insane Bartender for a Mad Crowd

I’m slinging drinks at this gritty little café, and if a customer rubs me the wrong way, I’ve got a special treat for ‘em (usually the chicks). I offer a complimentary “Bloody Mary” on the house, but instead of vodka, I slam in some fiery pepper tonic and pure ethanol, baby! 😈 For those fruity long drinks like “Sex on the Beach,” I just hawk a fat loogie in there with all my heart.
The twisted, horrified faces they make when they sip that poison? Man, it’s pure gold, impossible to describe.
Oh, and I mix that ethanol with water—boom, instant bootleg vodka on tap. 😎
Just a bastard at 18 years young!

#bartenderlife #savage #prankster #wtf

I stumbled upon this cute dude on DV, and damn, sparks flew!

The big day rolled around, we hung out, and hell yeah, we clicked instantly. A few days later, we decided to “watch a movie” at a hotel. Spoiler alert: we didn’t give a rat’s ass about the plot!
Neither of us had any rubbers on hand, so we made a quick pharmacy run. Back in action, we got wild—real wild—until, boom, the damn condom burst at the grand finale.
Lesson learned: Contex is absolute trash.
Don’t skimp on the good stuff, folks. Emergency pills cost a fortune compared to decent protection.
Wishing y’all hot love and unbreakable condoms! ❤️

#loveandlust #condomfail #wildtimes #stayprotected