Blew Him Away in Front of the Whole Damn Crowd

Last summer, my boyfriend and I were chilling at the beach, soaking up the sun on an inflatable mattress, just drifting with the waves. We didn’t even notice how far we’d floated from the shore—everyone on the beach looked like tiny specks of color in the distance. That’s when a wicked thought struck me: giving head in the middle of the open sea? Hell yeah, that’s peak romance! So, I went down on him, and we got so lost in the heat of the moment that we completely missed the coast guard boat creeping up, their crew getting a front-row seat to our little show...

#beachscandal #publicdisplay #wildromance #caughtin4k

Life can throw some wild curveballs, can’t it?

Day 23. I’m burning up with a fever, sprawled out on the bed like a corpse. My guy’s in the next room, tinkering with whatever the hell keeps him busy. I drift off into a feverish haze, and in my dream, I swear I can hear him behind that damn wall, screwing around with someone else. I jolt awake—feeling a bit better, thank fuck. I get up, but the house is cold as a witch’s tit, so I shuffle to the closet for a sweater. I yank the door open, and holy shit—there’s a stark-naked chick just standing there! I nearly lost my damn mind (turns out, it was just a hallucination)...

#feverdreams #wtf #hallucination #mindfuck

Insane Bartender for a Mad Crowd

I’m slinging drinks at this gritty little café, and if a customer rubs me the wrong way, I’ve got a special treat for ‘em (usually the chicks). I offer a complimentary “Bloody Mary” on the house, but instead of vodka, I slam in some fiery pepper tonic and pure ethanol, baby! 😈 For those fruity long drinks like “Sex on the Beach,” I just hawk a fat loogie in there with all my heart.
The twisted, horrified faces they make when they sip that poison? Man, it’s pure gold, impossible to describe.
Oh, and I mix that ethanol with water—boom, instant bootleg vodka on tap. 😎
Just a bastard at 18 years young!

#bartenderlife #savage #prankster #wtf