Latest offering on the suburban altar

I have been wondering why my trousers are tight.

What about it?

I live alone and these are just the unopened ones.

Can't work out these McDonald's art items, what're the two on the right meant to be?!

So this just happened

What about it?

Somebody just handed a tortoise in as lost and found. Having never had a tortoise I have no idea what to do with it. Any advice (unless they're cooking instructions. I know you lot 😄) gratefully accepted

Never have I ever seen a log with sick tats!

Found these today on my outings, would/have you tried any? 👀 (found in Budgens)

What about it?

New snacks/drinks found! 🤤

Behold, the Mega Frazzle!

The Boaty McBoatface of lochs

I’m taking part in the local pub quiz. So far nobody get my team name!

My girlfriends son broke her favourite mug, this exact Tayto mug she got in Ireland at the factory years ago. I can’t find a replacement anywhere - help?

Morrisons bunting

What about it?

Seems like there's more bunting at my local Morrisons than at a gala day.