What do I do in this position? (I'm a leek)

Haha Funny words

This sub be like:

Ok guys, how many of these do you have?

What do I do in this position? (I'm blue)

What do I do in this position? (I'm black)

New Chess.com feature: instead of a timer, you get your remaining lifespan

What do i do in this position ? (Im the photographer)

What do I do in this position? (I am trying to kill my father.)

What do I do in this position? (I accepted the false reality)

What are the odds the cleaning lady set up the board like this because she is into some crazy chess variants?