Remember, kids it's a luxury to drink poison

Well, I guess it's time to make a new account.

Its a make-or-break for whether I'll order a dish

Gets first big modelling job... is bummed out

Going to the bank is so inconvenient!

Maybe start the conversation with a better topic, like how happy and still alive my dog is.

When your douchebag friend takes mushrooms for the first time and has "profound epiphanies" that are really just basic human empathy and compassion.

I drove through several states and noticed the majority of drivers were not using their turn signals.

I don't like deepfried memes or most the new formats.

Everything smells

Reworded it for the lovely dwellers of Reddit