"I protect you from the government, not from NASCAR."

This baby turtle floating around on a slice of bread

Texting my fate-mom

Joe Pasquale impaled in freak moose antler incident in Skegness

What about it?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66415545

My gender reveal technology was meant to be used for good

Distinguished Void 😍

Really working me

What about it?

For my salad. 😄

Uni was trying to blend with my black pants. Sadly they’re not the same shade of black.

Cocoa Beanz

Sage doesn’t like being tackled by younger sister

Tried to take a pic with my void - instead I learned he has laser beam eyes! 😱

What about it?

BRB Renaming him cyclops