It's just that people who claim they've seen aliens are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs. Oh, and you, dad. Hehehe.

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Usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom

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"You fool! Now we may never know if ants can be trained to sort tiny screws in space."

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Belongs here? No? Sorry.

? Made my day.

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Hey kids, want to drive through that cactus patch?

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I always believe in helping the little guy and you’re the littlest guy I know

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All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says "Capricorn", and something with coconut on it

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How are my boys doing Homer?

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Did you call me Spud?!

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It's NFL cut day so if your name's not called, congrats you've made the team. Except you, you, and you you're cut.

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Look what came in the mail today boys!

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