The fucking newspaper articles on the FRONT PAGE today

Salty cat

Naught to eat but death

Hey just like my mental health!

“The horngus of a dongfish is attached by a scungle to a kind of dillsack.”

What's wrong with these women?

I could turn Osama bin laden ... with reckless driving

Source: texting my gf about a murderer on the loose

tO All BItches of Reddit!

Our Government.

Legal yandere with no filter

Woman in question reported to have explaimed "Awwww shit" before throwing hands.

Title is a joke nerds