What's wrong with my bio?

I'd date me so hard

Sigh... how obvious do you want to be? Yes.

Couldn’t have said it better

Figured I’d lead with comedy…what are my chances of being blocked?

It was clearly an up close picture of that cat with her sitting in a chair behind the cat. But the perspective at a glance made her seem tiny and/or the cat look huge. To be fair to myself, it should be noted; I am a dad, so I have a mortal obligation to make such observations apparent to others.

Celebrating the first year of us Thank You Tinder ❤️

Rate my bio

I saw a similar one somebody else had and put it a little more into my own words. Is it too much or is something phrased weirdly? Honest question. Word choice is important round these parts and I did change a couple thing like adding "never know if you never try." Also the other line is a quote from the Notebook slightly modified slightly to read like it follows a little more naturally from the previous paragraph. For people who don't realize that does it come off wierd or is the humor in calling myself dishonorable evident? For people who know is it the wrong call to quote Lon when he is the guy she doesn't choose in the end? Is it just a bad idea to quote "Mr. Wrong" no matter how good the quote is?

Don’t trauma dump on strangers

Missed my chance

Last month tinder boost was 4.99, then a couple of days ago it was 7.99, today it's 10.49....wtf is happening ? Someone new is at the helm or what ??

Too soon?