Last night, I was deep in the heat with my girl, and I blasted all over her sweet ass. I got up to grab some tissues, and she snaps, “Close the damn door!” I just shrugged—who the hell cares, right?—and kept walking.
Not even five seconds later, my mom strolls by the room… and gets a full fucking view of my girl, butt-naked, sprawled out like a starfish, dripping with my mess.

#nsfw #awkwardmoment #caughtredhanded #familydrama

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P20. So, one day my uncle dropped this savage piece of wisdom on me: "Never shack up with a woman who’s tougher than you, kid—she might crave some action when you’re just not in the damn mood." I laughed it off, thinking it was just some hilarious bullshit. But guess what? I ended up dating a freaking judo champ, and holy shit, she’s pinned me down and had her way with me a couple of times already… somebody send help, I’m screwed!

#wtf #relationshipstruggles #judo #savage

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