P20. So, one day my uncle dropped this savage piece of wisdom on me: "Never shack up with a woman who’s tougher than you, kid—she might crave some action when you’re just not in the damn mood." I laughed it off, thinking it was just some hilarious bullshit. But guess what? I ended up dating a freaking judo champ, and holy shit, she’s pinned me down and had her way with me a couple of times already… somebody send help, I’m screwed!

#wtf #relationshipstruggles #judo #savage

Heading out on some errands today, hopping into a half-empty minibus, where everyone’s just chilling in their own little worlds.
Next to me, there’s this lady rocking a vibe like she’s the damn queen of the universe, deciding who lives or dies.
Then, out of nowhere, she starts looking queasy—maybe motion sickness, maybe she’s drunk off her ass, who the hell knows.
Without so much as a flinch, she flips open her fancy bag, pukes right into it with surgical precision, zips it shut…
And just like that, she’s back to sitting there with her snooty-ass expression, as if she didn’t just turn her purse into a vomit vault.

#wtf #gross #publictransport #savage

Strolling past the grimy old train station today, I got ambushed by a damn HOBO. The moment his bloodshot eyes locked on mine, he unleashed a wild poetic rant: "Oh, sweet Aphrodite, your beauty burns my soul! I tied the knot once, and damn, what a foolish goal!" and some other mumbled nonsense. Hell, this was the first dude to ever serenade me with poetry in my entire life. Kinda epic, until he hit me up for spare change right after... Romantic bastards, always pulling that crap?

#streetlife #unexpectedpoetry #hustle #romancegonewrong