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Help needed

What about it?

Hello, this may get a little lenghty, but i really need some advice, or maybe just assurance, im not really sure which. For starters i live in a 3+1 (+ kitchen) room appartment. We always have had cats in our home and so when 3 years ago the last of our first 4 cats died (she was 21 years old black lady), i got a little tabby kitten, then i got 2 maine coon brothers and thought that ill live with these 3 kitties. But than came a few rescues and kittens that were planned, but in the end i could not find any new homes for them (it was the time when covid lockdowns were lifting and lot of people were getting rid of their covid pets). And so in the end, i ended up with 11 kitties. I have to say that i love them all and they are all my little angels. Fortunatelly for the most part they get along really well (there was an exception when we got kittens and i had to separate the mum from non father boys as she was pretty aggresive towards them, trying to protect her kittens, but thats in the past now). All that said it can get really overwhelming sometimes, both physicaly/emotionally and financially. The physical/emotional part comes mostly from the fact that past these 5 years i had to take care of my (formally pretty abusive) father with dementia, who would piss on the walls/furniture when he did not fealt like goint to the toilet. I tried to clean most of it, but he would not let me come into his room. Its been a month since i finally got him in a nursing home and am now in the proces of cleaning up his room (everything there needs to go - the cats quickly learned that this room is obviously for peeing and so finished the devastation which my father started). Now i move a lots of furniture around and out which kinda stresses them and so sometimes they mark walls/tables/bed in my room to show their disspleasement (they are all neutered though). I hope its just temporary thing that will pass when im done cleaning, but combined with my clinical depression it gets really overwhelming to the point of questioning my life choices (and hating myself for this questioning). As i said i love them all and while people tell me to get rid of them i dont see is as an option as long as the cats are happy with me. I just sometimes cant see a way forward. Anyway sorry for the long rant, i kinda had to get it all out. And before i forgot i got my kitties Feliway classic and friends to help them with the stress of cleaning, it helped a bit, but not completely.

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