Odin was a shit dad.

I hope they weren't thirsty

2nd degree burn on my arm while cooking

saw the other guys arm.. figured i’d share mine

Tomorrow marks my 1st year since being diagnosed with a bone tumor. Time flies so fast.

Flip flops didn’t pivot with my foot.

What about it?

Don’t try finding me on feet finder either.

Got a flat tire riding around enjoying my day

Sold something on Facebook Marketplace, lady asked if I have change, I gave $10. This is what she paid me.

Uber eats driver didn't tell me the bag was wet. She dripped all the way up my driveway and stairs and placed the bag down carefully. And yes I had a good tip for a $100 order.

What about it?

The moment I touched the bag it broke open. She was still in her car apparently texting me to tell me the bag was wet. Why couldn't she text me first. Restaurant now closed.

Sliced my finger with a butter knife

Neighborhood thief

What about it?

Neighborhood thief stole my food not even a minute after it arrived