How did Krusty write this being illiterate?

My prices are so low, you’ll think I’ve suffered brain damage!

It's just that people who claim they've seen aliens are always pathetic lowlifes with boring jobs. Oh, and you, dad. Hehehe.

Usually you just take the box of donuts into the bathroom

"You fool! Now we may never know if ants can be trained to sort tiny screws in space."

Belongs here? No? Sorry.

? Made my day.

Hey kids, want to drive through that cactus patch?

I always believe in helping the little guy and you’re the littlest guy I know

All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says "Capricorn", and something with coconut on it

How are my boys doing Homer?

Did you call me Spud?!