Got a slurpee to ease my sore throat, a wasp flew in my straw and I didn’t notice.

Battery burnt the connector. Got it two days ago. Gonna kms

Battery burnt the connector on my last one, so I had my sister overnight me a new one. Got it the day before yesterday- and it happened again, on a new battery. The amount in which I hate it here grows every single day.

Dropped one of my favourite mugs

My friend got a new car today and the wheel fell off while driving it.

Poor dude got stuck

Picked up my car from the garage. Were they cruising in my minivan??

I made it to the gas station, but I’ve never gotten to a zero mile range before!

My Dogs Fur Needled Itself Across My Eye

Wouldn't rub, blink, or flush off. Eventually got it out by sliding it out by the bottom left corner. This was last month.

"You nuked my brother... You took him from "geek" status to "king" status to no status."

Make a Run For The Border!...

What could possibly go wrong?

Not even remotely surprising.