My cat died and it's my fault
A few weeks ago my beloved baby boy, Squeaky, unexpectedly became very sick and after copious amounts of money and urgent treatment, we still had to put him down a few days ago. Vets said it was liver failure.
About a month and a half ago, I had noticed he seemed a little less active, a little less himself, and losing a little weight. I thought it was a cold, because one of my other cats caught it and it went around to all of them. (I had 5 cats)
So, I dismissed it, even though I noticed he was a little more symptomatic than the others. I mentioned maybe to take him to the vet, but never got around to it.
Fast forward a few weeks and his skin turned yellow. Got him to the vet ASAP only to find his liver failure. A $600 treatment had him feeling better for a few days, but then he stopped eating, and was not himself anymore. We took him back, and they recommend that we put him down. The only other option was a invasive hospital treatment that would've cost $5000 or more, and wasn't guaranteed to work.
So, we said our goodbyes right there and sent him on his journey to the rainbow bridge.
Since then, I've been eaten alive by guilt. I should've taken him to the vet to be checked. I should've known he wasn't ok. I've had a cat before that's passed from liver failure and I knew the signs. I knew in my gut something was off but I didn't want to accept it. And now he's dead, and it's my fault.
I can't sleep at night. Every corner of the house reminds me of him. I miss his purr, I miss his lap cuddles, I miss the way he squeaked when he was hungry, I miss everything and it hurts so much.
I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I don't know what to do.
