Think these guys are lost

Guys, what do I do in this position? (I'm John Tanner in a Cop car in Havana)

What opening is this

What careful move should I play here?

Isn't this checkmate?

I have no coins. If you reply, with anything, I will do literally nothing.

What is this (Google en passant)

What do I do in this position? (I’m black btw)

Mr fortnite

What about it?

Bottom text

Is this the en peasant?

I have coins, but you aren't getting shit.