I have 0 coins, top comment decides what do I do with 1 bottle cap from my collection

What’s this opening called?

A lost lost lost lost redditor

Oscar likes Pipis???

Yes, I know chess

Think these guys are lost

Guys, what do I do in this position? (I'm John Tanner in a Cop car in Havana)

What opening is this

What careful move should I play here?

Isn't this checkmate?

I have no coins. If you reply, with anything, I will do literally nothing.